Saturday, July 22, 2017
Mind you what I write here or on the forum is more than I allow most people in my life to see.
The wall building started a few years ago, mostly when our priest decided to go on a verbal rampage about how most of us were only on Parish council because we had our own agenda (this after he asked me to come back) and later when he said all we did was gossip.....
The foundation was set with the first rampage, and I slowly but surely laid course after course of strong and thick stone. By the time the second outbreak occurred, that wall was getting higher and higher, to protect me from verbal tongue lashings and so no one could say I was gossiping about others in our parish.
I didn't really consider that others would notice my drawing back, or that they would wonder why I was no longer going out for coffee, or phoning just to see how they were feeling and what they were up to. I guess I was wrong. People did notice, I am not smiling as much, I am not sharing as much, and I hide myself making sure that others will have no reason to run to our priest and say nasty things about me.
I actually think that Father Brian has noticed me distancing myself from activities in the parish and pulling back from my friendship with him.
Father Brian will be leaving at the end of the month, and while it is more than likely too late to demolish all the walls before he leaves, I do think it might me time to start to try to lower them block, by block. It will take awhile, and I may even rebuild them countless times, but I need to feel a part of my community of faith once again.
Everybody have a wonderful evening.