Today I spent part of the afternoon trying to help my friend convince her husband that they needed to be a bit more proactive in regards to their money situation.
My friend has been off work for almost a year now, the place she worked did not have long term disability so she went on short term, then Unemployment disability, and now is using up what holidays she has. Paperwork is underway for Canada Pension Disability, but it is not for certain that she will be able to collect that. Her husband collects Canada Pension, plus a pension from the company he worked for.
They should be able to live on what her husband brings in, and in a few years D will be eligible for Canada Pension and the pension from her previous work place. There is a bit of money put aside in retirement savings as well.
Now comes the big problem. When their boys were young they took out a second mortgage on their home to pay for A and AAA hockey for two, and AAA baseball for one. Then when they could no longer borrow against their home, they took out a line of credit.
Over the years they borrow from the line of credit to pay off their MasterCard and Visa bills, then in a few years extend their line of credit and use it to pay off the second mortgage. Give another few months and they are once again extending their line of credit.
Right now they are barely keeping the bills paid, and still D's Hubby spends money. He spent money they did not have to buy a snow blower for their son, and to help pay for their grandson to play AAA hockey. All three of their boys owe them money and none of them seem to be paying it back.
I don't want to push too hard, as I do value D's friendship and have a feeling if I keep pushing budget her Hubby will get mad and not allow her to see me.
I have a feeling they are going to hit rock bottom before things change and I suppose all I can do is stand by them.
Everybody have a wonderful evening.
God bless.
It seems like her sons may have got used to parental handouts, perhaps without knowing that they are borrowing to do so. It's a difficult situation, but I think you are right to try to help. No one wants to see their friends descend into a financial abyss. If they don't want to listen, however, there is little you can do.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, what a mess. You are doing a very nice thing trying to help, but I fear you're right you may have to step back and just be there for them when they finally have their lightbulb moment.
ReplyDeleteMost people,even friends,don't want money advice. I'd say let them work it out on their own and focus on being a good friend.
ReplyDeleteCan your friend take her sons aside and let them know how precarious their financial situation is or does she still not get it? If the boys realized how quickly the tables might turn and that they would be expected to help maybe they would politely refuse their father's offerings. Oh and pigs might fly! You could,also have her watch Dave Ramsey who is a financial guru in the US who tries to help people get out of debt. His website has all of his radio broadcasts. It does almost sound like it might be too late for them. You are a good friend for trying to help.
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