had a friend that you are starting to think just might not be the friend they were in the beginning?
This past week I have started to feel like the person I consider to be my BFF, is not really that at all. While I do go and see her for coffee most days (her Hubby does not let her do much at all), it is like I am being used.
It is hard to explain, but I have noticed over the past months she is more inclined to, well, support others more than she feels it is necessary to support me. This is just a feeling I get when we talk. She is more than willing to take others out for lunch, or invite someone else to go to the show with her, go to another's house for coffee (hasn't come here in years), and even complain about my cat (she has not looked after Shania in years).
While I don't mind so much being a support for her (I actually think her husband is way too controlling) I do hate hearing the same complaints or problems over and over again. Many of these problems are brought on by her family and their choices in life. She has one son that left a very good job because it does not "pay enough" but was steady employment, for another job that has only lasted at the most a month and he will now be laid off and searching for another. In our (rather her) discussion I got the impression I was supposed to feel sorry for him. His choice, his mistake, but I can't bring myself to say this to her... She does hold a grudge and I just don't want to get on her bad side.
I think I might just try drawing back from this friendship for awhile. See how I manage without her in my life and how she manages without me. I have a feeling that I might just get a great deal more done and be minus some stress in my life.
Perhaps it is time to cultivate other friendships and see where they lead.
Everybody have a wonderful evening.
God bless.
Jackie, it may be time to sit back and wait for her to reach out to you for some reason other than complaining. I am not a BFF person as such but keep close to family and have a small circle. But I would expand or develop your circle and see what happens.
ReplyDeleteYes, it sounds as though that friendship needs a bit of tacit "re-ordering". You won't be deserting her - she has other friends to go out with or to visit - but you'll both be able to re-evaluate.
ReplyDeleteIt's disappointing when you don't feel appreciated by a friend, especially when you go out of your way to be supportive to them. Enjoy cultivating new friendships.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the other comments, a period of sitting back and re-evaluation could be a good thing. It is hard when the penny drops but it can also be energising too.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone, I think I do need a period of re-evaluation.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Bless your heart, Jackie. Many of us have had similar experiences. I have had a friend for years who never initiates anything, and I would just love it if she would call me to set up tea together. It is always me who does it, and she is always ready to do it...but......
ReplyDeleteSame boat here as well. I hardly see my ex best friend from one year to the next. The other good friend, two or three times a year providing I contact her.
ReplyDelete